I know the benefits provide incentive but why does it seem like once in the military, they develop this incredibly urgency to get married? Even young guys who wouldn’t get married normally.
Military marriages also known for have a high divorce rate (4 out of 5) so you’d think they’d be reluctant…
Because they’re young, dumb and “in-love” at the time when they get married and they don’t realize that they’re getting married to “Jody” for the old school Army who know what I’m talking about.
I’m not trying to be harsh or funny…I’m just trying to tell the truth. When you’re scared of being alone or fear that you’ll die without someone to carry on your name of a part of you is not left in this world, people will go to extremes without thinking. This goes for females too. They rush into things without thinking. That’s why the divorce rate is so high amongst young service members.
Some marriages will last…don’t get me wrong about that but some don’t because of that. Disagree with me all you want but those who know or have seen first hand know that what I say is true.
Getting Married In The Military
Some guys might be married and need jobs and military is a way to get money to support the wife and kids. So they may marry young and go military to support them.
To understand why guys in military marry young, might have to look deeper. They want someone to want them to come home or go home to, and a wife would be there. Sometimes wives can go where they are and they help make things easier for the guys.
While they have GED or high school diploma, they often don’t have the advanced degrees or college and that is something that makes many wait longer to marry. Could feel in danger and life slipping away and want to leave something – posterity.
Bigger question is why so many are committing suicide. That is partly the stress and danger and also the marriages that break up from the long distances and long tours. They are shortening length of tours later this year. Sometimes the violence they are in creates a violent nature and they may be abusive from the stress and that breaks up families. they may not like who they have become. We need to give a lot more support to our military personnel and they need to get more help and look at holistic medicine and not that mental health means they are crazy, but that they are taking care of the whole body. There should be no stigma for getting help.
Once they get married, they get better benefits such as better living quarters. Plus if they have a wife at home they can be with someone every day, rather than just when they have leave.
For those who expect to be deployed, it’s also about trying to make sure they have someone to come back to – or to make sure they have a child in case they die.
Also, many people who enlist in the military don’t have an education beyond high school. They are the people who often marry young to begin with.
The reasons are different for different people, but those are some of the reasons.
Well, my husband was 27 when we got married. I don’t think that’s too much younger than the national average. All his buddies are single or married late. Enlisted soldiers do tend to marry sooner…I think the reasons are the following:
1. They don’t go to college for a long time and they start making money young so they become financially ready to support a family.
2. Nobody wants to go home after a long deployment to noone…my husband says that must be the worst feeling a soldier can have because during a deployment, they anticipate something better in the future, they are full of hopes.
3. Benefits and PCSing: your partner can’t accompany you unless you get married and they are not entitled to any military benefits and apparently, soldiers don’t want to be away from their partners for years.
And those high divorce rates do not have much to do with marrying young. Some people just can’t be away from their spouses for 15 months in a row. I would ask them why they did not consider it before they got married. If you wanna date a military guy, you know what to expect. If you don’t, you divorce.
The person who said married soldiers get double pay is wrong. They only earn some hundred dollars more than single soldiers. Their BAH rate differs so married people are entitled to a bigger house or apartment but that’s all.
And I don’t know why you think if you are young, you can’t have a good marriage. I was 21 when I got married and I have a wonderful family that I would never give up for anything on earth while I know a lot of people who have been looking for Mr or Ms Perfect for like 15-20 without any success…nobody is good enough for them but they are getting old and they will probably never have kids then some of these people marry when they realize they are getting old and they tend to marry the wrong person because it doesn’t matter who their partner is, they just don’t wanna be alone and want kids…I’ve seen that many times and have such people in my family and that’s a lot worse than getting married to your true love young.
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Not sure where you got your statistics but the divorce rate is almost the same as civilian divorces and it is nowhere near the 80% (4 out of 5) that you are speaking about.
The overall divorce rate for military personnel during fiscal year 2008 was 3.4 percent, compared to 3.3 percent in 2007 and 2006.
Among the DOD services for FY 2008:
Army. Enlisted divorce rate was 3.9 percent. Officer divorce rate was 2.3 percent. Overall divorce rate was 3.5 percent.
Air Force. Enlisted divorce rate was 4.1 percent. Officer divorce rate was 1.6 percent. Overall divorce rate was 3.5 percent.
Navy. Enlisted divorce rate was 3 percent. Officer divorce rate was 1.5 percent. Overall divorce rate was 3 percent.
Marine Corps. Enlisted divorce rate was 4.1 percent. Officer divorce rate was 1.6 percent. Overall divorce rate was 3.5 percent.
The general population divorce rate in the United States, for the 12 months preceeding Feb 2008 was 3.6 percent, according to the most recent National Vital Statistics Report http://www.cdc.gov/nchs/data/nvsr/nvsr57… prepared by the Center for Disease Control and Prevention.
I see that alot of young soldiers are married but so are civilian people. We just are a smaller group than compared to civilian so it looks like more are married younger. You also have to take into consideration that unlike civilians, military people are sent to war for years at time and many other field exercises and trainings. They want someone to come home to, a family to be there waiting for them and someone to give them love and support when they are deployed. It helps their morale when they know they have someone who loves them and are waiting for them when they return from a war or deployment. Not sure if this is why some get married young but it could be. I mean years and years ago, girls were married way before they turned 20 so how is that any different than now.
Marriage is a sign of stability and discipline, in the old days you couldn’t gain rank unless you were married.
I think this applies more so for the Navy, unmarried gentleman would remain Junior Officers until marriage because when they travel to foreign lands they will always want to return home and remain loyal.
The Mutiny on the Bounty occurred because a single Junior officer was given rank.
Usually young men marry for security of being alone(#1 fact) but It is a very common thing to get married young when one of the spouses is military. Military boys and girls move fast in everything usually-life, love, and career. They retire in 20 yrs, they are in an occupation that has higher chances of being killed. Usually-you will see a lot of military couples running to the altar right before a deployment because A) The person deploying wants to make sure the other is taken care of incase something should happen, and B) They want to get married and experience that as well if something should happen. A military person’s whole life is like living in fast-forward. Many of them are retired by 40 or 45-and normal civilian retirement is 65. We like things in fast speed and we don’t joke around with our emotions. when we feel something-we act on it. And plus-it is hard to find a mate that is either accustomed to the military life (Because it is VERY different from civilian) or is willing to accept military life and the seperations. When you find someone that is willing to-you grab hold and don’t let go.