I couldn’t figure out why so many people here where so bitter about adoptions but as i was readng through the older posts i think i figured it out. I had no clue of how different adoptions where handled depending on where you live. I didn’t know how corrupt the system got… mostly in the States. I’m…
“It is ILLEGAL to buy a child… so how else do they get round this? By introducing “fees” and donations. ”
There will always be ways to break the laws I suppose. But let’s be clear that not all adoptive families participate in these tactics. And that some countries do a better job than others.
Since the facts of people’s lives are publicly aired (rightly so by the way) and colour their stance on adoption, I think it’s only fair that some of us who have adopted get to do the same.
Our son was in foster care for 10 months before his first mother, knowing her rights were terminating, chose to select the parents and proceeded with a private adoption.
She contacted a licensee with the help of her advocate from the John Howard Society for the expressed purpose that this licensee and advocate both supported open adoption.
We have an itemized list of all expenses paid from homestudy to lawyer fees and there is nothing hidden. I suppose any fees charged by law firms could be argued as inflated but that is the way that business is run. That applies to all transactions through a law firm, not just adoption.
We were forbidden…verbally and in writing…to even buy our son’s other mom a cup of coffee. NO EXPENSES ARE ALLOWED to be paid in Canada. This is the truth even if it flies in the face of those who wish to paint all countries and adoptive families with the same broad brush.
Corruption happens at the hands of corrupted people and those who stand by and watch it happen. I SUPPORT THE POSTERS who make it a point to educate about the tactics used by people and agencies.
I would expect the same kind of support for adoptive families or potential adoptive families who are personally and publicly working to do the same.
I really hope you figured out why people are angry about adoption, but if not, I’ll give you a hint, it has something to do with separating mothers and babies. I’m also sorry that you think this is such a “great thing.”
The rules in my country are pretty fast and loose. Child brokers are the people you meet on the street, they need no prior education or understanding of separation loss, or trauma. They don’t have to be licensed in order to make money off of the separation of a family unit. All they need is a web site and a few contacts and they are up and in business. Adoption lawyers are not required to have any experience in trauma, loss, or family relations. In other words, any one can hang shingle and be a professional at breaking and making families for a buck. My country is the US.
You have to be kidding yourself if you think that other countries that participate in international adoption protect women any better. Do you really think young mothers in Ethiopia or China or Nepal are making “adoption plans?” H*ll, how many of them even understand what they are signing.
Even I didn’t make an adoption plan here in the US in 1984, but that is what an adoption worker will have you believe. The adoption worker who told me my son needed a 2 parent family was nothing more than an infertile woman who had adopted a child or two and so she was on a mission to bring others into the fold.
Knowing how adoption “works” and knowing what it means to the people on the losing end are two very different things.
Please read and get educated from all perspectives. Adoption is not about getting what you want, there are other people involved and these “other people” are the babies and the mothers who are split apart – sometimes for 20 or 30 years, sometimes forever.
Many more sights out there if you are really interested.
It doesn’t matter what country you are in, there are always ways to buy a child. Its sad and wrong but it happens. It is ILLEGAL to buy a child… so how else do they get round this? By introducing “fees” and donations.
My daughter was adopted in New Zealand where the law is still operating under an arcahic system… the 1955 Adoption Act. In Australia where I live now, the law is updated and it is much less common now. Thankfully, our local adoption rates have dropped considerably and I hope they continue to do so.
Most people think they know alot about adoption until they really do the research on all aspects. I thought I knew what adoption was about before I lost my daughter… and then I was staggered by the truth that lurks behind the glossy exterior that is adoption’s front.
By the way, who are you to label people bitter and angry just because they are not of the same opinion you are? Just because I don’t see adoption as beautiful and I see it as sick and twisted, doesn’t make me bitter. It means I don’t like it and there are ALWAYS valid reasons why someone goes against the flow to speak out against something.
You may know the leagalities of adoption on the outside but I do not feel you have a real clue about the reality of adoption from the inside out. And that is where the issue lies.
Some UK links @ http://7rin-on-adoption.dreamwidth.org/t…
Adoption and Children Act 2002; 2002 Chapter 38, Contents @ http://www.opsi.gov.uk/acts/acts2002/ukp…
OPSI ‘Adoption’ search @ http://search.opsi.gov.uk/search?access=…
OPSI ‘Adoption rights’ search @ http://search.opsi.gov.uk/search?access=p&entqr=0&output=xml_no_dtd&ie=UTF-8&client=semaphore_frontend&q=IPSV:Adoption_rights&concept_name=Adoption+rights&ud=1&site=A&oe=UTF-8&proxystylesheet=opsisearch_semaphore&ip=126.96.36.199&sort=date:D:S:d1
Also, from http://www.care4child.org/adoption-in-staffordshire/adoptionlaw.php
====The Law and Adoption====
The main piece of legislation the affects children who are looked after or accommodated by the local authority is the Children Act 1989, which says:
“Social Services must work with parents and make every effort to return children to their birth family wherever possible”
Where Children cannot be returned to their birth family, Social Services look to provide permanent homes for them.
The legislation that governs adoption is the Adoption and Children Act 2002 & The Adoption Regulations 1983 and 2005.
The law says that adopted people have a right to know they are adopted and can see their adoption file when they reach adulthood.
Adoption Agencies also work under National Standards, which state that the following must be taken into account when placing children for adoption.
** Children are entitled to grow up as part of a loving family.
** Children’s ethnic origin, cultural background, religion and language will be respected and considered when decisions are made.
** Adoption is about meeting the needs of children not about the needs of adults.
** The child’s welfare, safety, needs and views should be at the centre of the adoption process and will be taken into account at all stages
==== ==== ==== ====
Corruption still exists however: http://7rin-on-adoption.dreamwidth.org/tag/stolen+children
Google it. And just because different countries have different adoption laws does NOT mean baby brokers don’t step around those laws. Way too much money on the line for that.
It doesnt matter how we were procured by our parents. Adoption starts with loss. Adoptees lose their identities, their heritage, and their culture when they are surrendered. If you have given birth yourself, then you KNOW how powerful the mother-child natural bond is. We knew our mothers BEFORE we were born, then we lost her. It is a proven fact that newborns are bonded with their first mothers long before birth. Being handed over to strangers is very traumatic.
Most of our adoptions were not necessary. It sucks not ever really fitting in with your adoptive family, then being made to feel bad when we go to find our natural families. An adoption certificate will NEVER make us not related to our first families, just as it will not make us genetically related to our adoptive parents.
Being bitter about losing our families does not mean we do not love our adoptive families. It means we are human beings who love. Period. You love more than one child…why is it so hard to believe adoptees can love more than one set of parents?
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How high does the stack of paperwork have to be for you to feel its worth $30,000?
It would have to be higher than my house and mine is a two story. I do not believe that home studies, legal fees or anything else they try to pawn off as legitimate is worth that amount of money. someone’s pockets are getting lined.
In Australia it is so easy for single mother to raise babies (the government funds them to stay home with their babies, don’t have to work etc) that majority of adoptions are from overseas.. It can take up to 10 years to adopt a baby from australia..
http://laws.adoption.com/statutes/state-adoption-laws.html Hope this helps!