..Are you also opposed to single straight people having kids?
I’m specifically asking those of you who use the argument of “children needing both a mother AND a father, period, no exceptions.”
Because if YOU are not opposed to this, you are pretty much contradicting your own argument, aren’t…
God meant for a man and a woman to marry and have kids. Anything short of that is going to hurt a child AND hurt society.
I’ve seen some pretty unhealthy heterosexual households, where foul language, alcohol and abuse reign supreme. Kids growing up in such environments will have major issues when they grow up, will be more likely to have drug and alcohol problems, and may become abusive themselves.
A male couple I know well are raising their daughter together. She is the biological daughter of one of them. The guys were married in Canada. Their daughter was born via surrogate. Neither of the men drinks or smokes or uses any drugs. Their home is clean, their daughter is loved and cared for, and is happy and healthy.
My point: the gender of parents has no bearing on their ability to raise healthy, happy children. Some straights are great at it, some are lousy. The same would be true for gay parents and for single parents. But anyone who can properly love and raise a child should be allowed to do so.
Edit for LOL sup: Where did you get that ridiculous idea that most gay men were molested? That is absolutely untrue. I know literally hundreds of gay men. Of those, I know of only one who was ever molested… and he knew he was gay before it happened. Get an education and stop spreading lies. I’m gay and no one ever touched me!
Another edit for LOL sup- What colossal ignorance. You probably got those statistics from some right wing nut group like AFA. They don’t hesitate to manufacture statistics. You want the facts? Get to know some gay people and find out for yourself. And as for quoting Leviticus, try reading that verse in Hebrew… it doesn’t say what you think it does.
And then, what do you do about people who get married, have kids, and later discover they’ve trying to live a lie, and come out? Do you deny the now openly gay parent any and all parental rights? Should the state come and take biological children away from lesbians who asked for a little help from a male friend?
Well technically gay people can’t have kids, naturally anyways. So I assume you mean gay people getting kids by some means (adopting, artificial invitro stuff, etc.).
I don’t support that at all. I don’t think it is acceptable for a child to be placed in that situation. Kids these days are very mean and cruel, and people should think about what a child will go through being mocked by people for having homosexual parents (and yes, I wish it didn’t happen but it does, let’s be honest-kids are mean). Not only that, but yes children need BOTH sexes in their life to bond with in a “parental” way.
In terms of gay people getting invitro, I just think invitro stuff is wrong period (gay or straight). If you can’t have kids naturally, then either adopt, voluteer, etc. Don’t make babies in test tubes.
Do I think single straight people should have kids? NO WAY, I don’t think any “straight” person should have a kid without a stable environment to allow it to grow. Also, most people will be hurt financially raising a kid on their own. God meant for a child to be raised in a stable family between a loving man and wife. Not for people to have random sex and then breakup and raise kids. That makes no sense and multiple research shows people from single parents have a harder time in life on average.
My sisters also have kids and never married the dad, and they are poor, their kids have a hard time, and their lives are a wreck. Is this true for everyone? Probably not. But it is very common and I see it every day.
I was raised by a single mother (as was my wife). While I appreciate everything my mother did for me, it has really impacted my life in a very negative way. I have had to really adapt through the years and I have had very difficult times transitioning into adulthood. I had no male examples in my life growing up, and I really regret that. I would have given anything to have had a father growing up–to teach me things (like shaving, girls, careers), to extend support, and to help support us financially (I was very poor growing up).
I have a very hard time communicating with other men because of this. I just feel so much more comfortable around women, since I was raised by my mother and older sisters. I can’t express how much this has affected my life. I WISH I had a father, and it really hurts that I didn’t sometimes. I have even had days when I was younger where I broke down and cried at night when I was alone. Everyone else in school had a dad, but I didn’t.
What hurts even worse is the fact that my father is still alive, and I am in my 20’s and he has never wanted anything at all to do with me. It makes me feel rejected and that I wasn’t worthy enough for my dad to want me, and that I come from a screwed up family. People should use good judgement, love each other, and get married and truly be in love before having kids. Had my parents did that, I might have grown up with a father and mother, and I might not have suffered so much in my life.
So I am just speaking from my own personal experience: I would never bring a child into this world without both a mother and father. If one dies, that is a different situation, but I think the mother/father should consider remarriage to help raise the children if they are still young.
Knowing what I know from my experience, I would NEVER support single people raising kids (if it were planned or not in a marriage), nor gay people raising kids. I know first hand the psychological “baggage” that comes with it.
And I don’t care what people say about homosexuals adopting. I have no problem with homosexuals at all. But adopting a kid is an absolute NO for me. If you don’t think that kid is going to be confused, mocked, and feel bitter about this later in life, you are simply kidding yourself!
Anyone that would knowingly put a child through that, is simply cruel. It WILL happen. They will be mocked, they will regret not having both sexes for parents, they will regret not having “normal” parents. I can guarantee that.
It is better for a child to be raised by a mother and a father who are married. That is the ideal situation.
Of course, there are always exceptions. But the ideal situation is still crystal clear, in my mind… In response to your question, I would answer, “yes, I am kind of opposed to single people having kids. It is not the ideal way to create a family, it is MUCH better for the father and mother to be married!” Trust me, I grew up in NYC and at least half of the kids in my school were being raised by single moms. Overall, those kids had a lot more problems than the kids being raised in traditional homes. It was obvious. And I also know some kids who were raised by gay parents. It can be weird. For example, a boy with two lesbian “moms” is supposed to pretend that he doesn’t mind the fact that he’s never even met his own FATHER.
I don’t think gay families should be outlawed, but these families may not represent the ideal structure. Why can’t we be honest about this?
I don’t see that it has anything to do with spirituality what so ever.
People should mind their own business. Is is better for 2 men or 2 women to bring up a child when there are millions of children living on the streets. Or should we just leave the children with no where to go to fend for themselves. Or leave them in a state run prison for children called a care facility where they are more often than not, abused.
I have actually had someone say to me that they would rather a child spend his/her life in foster care than be raised by a gay couple.
I simply laughed, told him his priorities were “skewed” (the word I actually used was far less polite) and went on my merry way. It wasn’t worth my breath to say any more than that.
In addition to your question, I would like to know if they also feel single parents who were once married (let’s say widow/widower now raising kids) should give up their children for adoption if becoming re-married in the future is not likely? Because hey, that’s a family without a mother and a father, too.
Great question, Evil Athiest Succubus! (and great name, too!)
PS- I would also like to see these “studies” Conservative Grandma is referring to. Cite your sources, especially if you claim scientific proof.
I live in a free country where straight and gay people can have/adopt kids.
I feel for the people that live in less free countries where they can’t marry who they want and cannot raise a kid when they have the capability to do so.
Gay couples can be just as good parents as straight couples. Being good parents is nothing to do with sexuality.
There are loads of gay couples who desperately want to have a child.
The relative sexes of the parents are not the criteria for successfully raising children. The proper criterion is the loving patience and discipline applied consistently. This criterion may be applied regardless of the sex of the parent(s).
Everyone should have the right in adopting/having children gay or straight as long as they have a job and financially stable not to mention to provide the basic needs and a loving stable home.